Its like its everything is about Fashion and Makeup these days. Specifically my angst is about the fact that everything is about WOMEN these days. Not only have they achieved the titled of "the fairer sex" but they want to be the nucleus of every atom that exists in this world. I mean I love the fact that the world is all about women, hell even our country is run by women (although they do fall at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to looks...well actually kinda outside the barrel)...but makeup and fashion is there specifically for women. Every other day there are ads, notifications, annoucements directed at women saying "Hey...you wanna look hotter than you already are" or "Something new is out and it doesn't work but its really really chic if people know u have it". You don't see ads directed at men with so much effort. "Hey guys...get upto 20% discount on the latest man bracelet which makes you look all gangsta" or "You wanna be a funky man...how abt the latest crotchless undies which doubles the size of your penis and gurantees you a lay". Yeah. Men don't have those priviledges.
Guys have a set amount of clothes in their wardrobe. 3 suites - Black, Grey and a Black pin strip. 4 sets of formal office trousers, 8-9 formal shirts rotated based on the 5 day work week. Women on the other hand have the incandescent urge to have outfits tailoured every 2 weeks. They even have outfits made specifically for going to the tailor to give measurements for another outfit.
A woman needs approximately 3 wardrobes, homewear, funky casual wear and the knock em dead wear. A man shares his sock draw with his underwear draw. And don't get me started on shoes. I don't even wanna go there coz someone told me blogs are supposed to be short and sweet. But lets just say, if we rounded up the shoes and sandals of JUST your closest nearest and dearest...I bet you the line would be longer than that of cars qued up in front of a fucking CNG gas station...during rush hour...on a weekday!!!
Guys have a set amount of clothes in their wardrobe. 3 suites - Black, Grey and a Black pin strip. 4 sets of formal office trousers, 8-9 formal shirts rotated based on the 5 day work week. Women on the other hand have the incandescent urge to have outfits tailoured every 2 weeks. They even have outfits made specifically for going to the tailor to give measurements for another outfit.
A woman needs approximately 3 wardrobes, homewear, funky casual wear and the knock em dead wear. A man shares his sock draw with his underwear draw. And don't get me started on shoes. I don't even wanna go there coz someone told me blogs are supposed to be short and sweet. But lets just say, if we rounded up the shoes and sandals of JUST your closest nearest and dearest...I bet you the line would be longer than that of cars qued up in front of a fucking CNG gas station...during rush hour...on a weekday!!!
The basic neccessities for a guy are: his deodrant, his cologne, his shower gel, his shaving gel, his hair gel (no offence bald readers) and his facewash.
The basic neccessities for a woman are: her shampoo, her lush double lather chemical free soap,her scrub, her facewash, her facepack, her exfoliating wash, her pre shampoo, her post leave in conditioner, her after shower cream, her post cream mnoisturizer, her body butter, her body oil and then she moves onto her makeup: her foundation, her tonner, her concealer, her base makeup, her eye shadow, her blush on, her rouge, her eye liner, her lipstick, her lip liner, her body mist, her deodrant, her...I can't go on...I could but I can't...its just endless. And have you seen the way women put on their makeup?? Lets just say their facial muscles suddenly develop the elasticity of ectoplasm. It can shapeshift and morph into any position and hold onto that position until the job is done. I mean I've seen faces that turn into the SCREAM movie mask. I ask all you women out there, why do you need this, why do you do torture yourselves in such a manner. Well I'm just a grumpy fart and nothing but I complainer. Coz I think I know the answer already. You Women, go through all this for us MEN. Its simple. You wanna be appreciated, you wanna be gawked at by the opposite sex, you wanna be the envy of the same sex and you wanna feel good about it. In fact, your the ones that are the real hardworkers in this world.
I can complain all I want, but the truth of the matter is, us men love what you women do. We may think your process is slightly OCD, crazy, weird and that your possessed by satan (biggest of your facial expressions during makeup) but we love it none the less. At the end of it, I for one would be highly disappointed if I walked out in the streets and saw a woman who didn't make the effort, unless your really ugly...in which case god didn't give you a chance and you should blame him. The bottom line is when your out on that first date, your thinking, wow the guy is so funny, while we're thinking, man those lips are amazing.
In all truth and honesty...I think todays blog was probably pointless...I set out to whine and nag...but once again I have been bested by the opposite sex. All you women out there...your the ones that bring colour into the black and white lives of every single man...
haha, kazster, really pintless fun read. and you should know, not all mens' wardrobes are as limited as you write. perhaps you should expand ;)
ReplyDeleteBeehive...I was referring to the 5 day work week!!!
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